All of us have met some people in life whom we cannot stand. They can be the whiners who just do not stop complaining about everything or the person who just never lets you say anything. Such people can make you forget all your leadership training and experience, leave you feeling stressed and take away the feeling of achievement as well.
How to Deal With Difficult People
Over a period of time every person develops a way of dealing with difficult people and such triggers are dependent on various attributes like your background, perspective and also the situation in question. There are certain measures that can be followed to deal with such people, which bring out the best in both sides.
1. Examine Yourself
When we get angry at the behavior of others, it is usually because it shows us some traits in ourselves which we do not like. It could be something like impatience or being short tempered. For this reason, it is important to introspect and evaluate the reasons for feeling angry or getting irritated. Once the root cause is determined, it is easy to find the solution or come to terms with certain types of behavior. We need to change the way we deal with things before expecting others to change.
2. Stand In Their Shoes
Every person has a different outlook and perspective. They may like to do things differently from how you would have done. This does not make them wrong. It is important to understand why they would think of something in a certain way. It becomes easier to accept as well as being empathetic towards such people. Always remember you could also be a difficult person for someone else.
3. Try Different Strategies
It is important to analyze the behavior of such difficult individuals and use it to the best advantage. Using humor to reply to people can be a subtle way of hinting or stating the obvious. When some people always shoot down your plans, talk to them when you want a critic. Subtlety works instead of direct ignorance or rude replies. Like picking up a phone when you want to avoid someone or ending a conversation by saying “Thank You”. Look at weakness as strengths and vice-versa. It gives a different perspective.
4. Maintain Your Composure
It’s important to keep calm when dealing with difficult people and not react when you are angry. It is better to handle situations when you have cooled down. Counting numbers when angry helps you remain calm and figure out the situation as well as the best way to deal with it. Taking time out also gives you some more time to understand the situation.
5. Avoid Unnecessary Situations
Every person has a power to choose the situations in which they want to get involved. In cases where the difficult person is someone you are temporarily dealing with, you can choose to bear with them and get it over with.In case you find some important and positive traits on a difficult person, you should try and overlook the things which make you angry. Everyone has positives, and you should decide which situation is worth getting involved in.
6. Separate the Person from the Problem
Concentrating on the issue at hand rather than the person will help in getting things resolved easily and efficiently. When people realize that blame is not laid on them, they open up and are more receptive to changes and help out. Trying this will help you in developing a rapport with difficult people and also make you a good problem solver. It will also earn you more cooperation and respect from others.
7. Try Some Humor
Humor is a very effective tool when dealing with difficult people and helps in reducing or eliminating difficult behavior as well. It is very powerful; it disarms the people and causes them to open up. It also tends to show that you have superior composure. It should be used correctly in conflict resolution.
8. Be Objective Rather Than Reactive
It is important to think before reacting. Looking at an incident objectively and then coming up with a solution is beneficial to both parties. If you think from the perspective of the other individual and put yourselves in their shoes, it will show you ways in which you can calmly and rationally react. You have to be reasonable and understand that people do what they do because of something happening in their own lives.
9. Accept the Facts
One has to know that there will always be people who will have a difficult behavior and nature. One should learn to accept their presence and not take such behavior personally. You cannot change people, but you can change how you react to them. Negative thoughts should be removed and your perception should be changed.
10. Increase Interpersonal Intelligence
People who get along with everyone have high interpersonal intelligence, and they modify their behavior and reactions according to the person they are dealing with. They figure out a person’s mood, feelings and motivations and change their behavior accordingly. It is good to observe such people and learn the tactics and imbibe them.
For more information over how to deal with difficult people as well as your definition of difficult people, watch the interview below: